Someone you know, a friend, a friend’s child, your son or daughter is about to have a baby. You decide to shower for them. Someone asks what they can do to help, what to bring and all the details. The baby shower is an important ritual in the pregnancy and childbirth process, a tradition that has distant origins. Here is a brief history of the baby shower and seven ways to make it the best ever.

Why a shower? Could it be because the future mother will be showered with good wishes and good will? Why will she be showered with gifts? Or is it the rain of tears of joy that will flow during the event, one of the happiest and most solidly traditional stages on the road to becoming a mother?

No one seems to know the exact history of baby showers and much speculation centers on the fact that any theory that emerges cannot be proven. Perhaps at one of the common tea parties held for the mom-to-be, a rain shower was a sign of good luck and good luck for mom and baby. It is true that during those tea parties, held for women who, in the past, had to remain hidden during pregnancy, the participants, always only women by the way, carried umbrellas with them hoping that the lucky shower would appear. It does not matter. The baby shower is now a solid part of traditional pregnancy. Here are seven tips for creating and promoting the best baby shower in the sun.

1. One thing that is known about baby showers of yore is this. Most of the gifts were handmade. There is no reason to get around this. We are dealing with tradition, after all. It takes little time and less technical skill to create a simple garment, a toy for children, a mobile for the cot, a decoration for the bedside table or other knick-knacks that the mother will appreciate as part of the happy moment before the birth.

2. If you’re not feeling creative, go online and find a craft site like Etsy etc. and commission a personalized gift. Include names, dates, inside secret information about it. This may be the only gift mom and baby will keep forever.

3. Depending on how close you are to mom, why not a real shower? This is reserved for spouses, or truly close friends, but there is nothing that says I love you, that I care about you, like a royal shower of pampering. Shop for bath oils, candles, frankincense and the future mom’s favorite soft music. Then give her a bath or shower, followed by a long, sustained full-body massage, just like you would your child during a period of transition and change for him.

4. If there is a ledger, like baby-r-us, check it and get everything your wallet can handle. Have it delivered or take it with you. If long journeys are required, for you or them, be sure to observe the size and weight limits for any gift you get.

5. Don’t forget to include other children, if any. A small token, an inexpensive toy, an age-appropriate piece of clothing or a healthy snack, to recognize them, and to include them in the event will be much appreciated, perhaps even more by the mother than the child.

6. Make sure you recognize that mom is in a way that preserves her autonomy in the process. We tend to focus all our attention on the next baby and neglect the mother. We take a lot for granted: that mother allows her to touch her belly; she that she is willing to share the sex of the child, if she knows; that she likes to listen to people’s advice, especially those who don’t have children of their own! It could be the best gift of all for a baby shower to shower mom with the assumption of maturity. Suppose you know what you are doing, and everything else will follow.

7. Finally, make sure mom really wants a shower in the first place. These days, with everyone working full-time, chaotic schedules, other children, busy spouses, it’s possible that the traditional shower rains on Mom’s already hectic parade of responsibility. The way to find out if she’d like a baby shower? Ask her.

Baby showers are about babies and mothers-to-be. They can be a great way to recognize the bonding and community inclusion of women preparing for the birth of a baby. One last note. Because every child, and every mother, needs to feel this inclusion, don’t forget that adoptive mothers and fathers need this recognition too. All of the above ideas will work equally well for parents in the process of adopting or in the process of adopting.

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